Erin’s boss referred her to me after the executive team became alarmed by how her behavior was damaging her team’s morale and performance. Her 360° feedback revealed extremely low scores in Restraint—remaining calm, reasonable, and avoiding extremes. On a 1–5 scale, her boss and her boss’s boss rated her 1s and 2s across all measures for Restraint. Open-ended comments described her as “Machiavellian”, “condescending” and “threatening,” intimidating staff and alienating clients.

In coaching, we uncovered root causes, including the frustration of being held to different standards as a woman. Importantly, Erin had shown in other contexts that she could act with great restraint—the challenge was her work environment, which triggered her worst instincts. While she couldn’t change the environment, she could change her response.

Three months later, her boss’s boss praised her “incredible transformation.” A client noted she was “calm, responsive, and in control.”

Within a year, Erin was regarded as a role model for female leaders in the company, with employees requesting to join her team. Her turnaround not only rebuilt her reputation—it became a case study in how targeted coaching and self-awareness can transform leadership impact.